Nothing to lose

More lists

From the ever kewl Jen

//10 artists you've been listening to a lot lately:
1) Nelly
2) Kid Rock
3) Wilson Phillips
4) Linkin Park
5) Dance Hall Crashers
6) Beatles
7) Guano Apes
8) The Donnas
9) Matchbox 20
10) Audioslave

//09 things you're looking forward to:
1) My Cousins Visit
2) Guys Night
3) Vacation
4) Tuition reimbursement
5) New House
6) My nephews bday
7) monday night football with miami and sd
8) my friends wedding
9) the weekend

//08 things you like to wear:
1) jeans
2) t-shirts
3) vans shoes
4) boxers
5) my necklace from kerry
6) my tag watch
7) white socks
8) a smile

//07 things that annoy you:
1) liars
2) ignorant people
3) bad drivers
4) boredom
5) slow internet
6) flakes
7) incompetent management

//06 things you say most everyday:
1) uh
2) dude
3) so...
4) righteous
5) fud
6) yummy

//05 things you do everyday:
1) peruse internet
2) wake up late
3) drive my car
4) breathe
5) listen to music

//04 people you want to spend more time with:
1) my parents
2) H
3) Ryan and Christine (by far the most perfect couple)
4) my nephew

//03 movies you could watch over and over again:
1) Liar Liar
2) Kevin Smith Movies
3) Shawshank Redemption

//02 of your favorite songs at the moment:
1) Nelly - Bad Boys
2) Audioslave - Like a stone

//01 person you would spend the rest of your life with:
1) H

Peoplewatcher

Do you ever people watch? I think its probably my favorite pasttime. Probably cuz i always wanted to be a sociologist. In any case i was out sat night in downtown PB, the college party place. We were at PB Bar and Grill, it was totally crowded so there were lots of people to watch. And in seconds i could pick out the girls who were bored and were being ignored. I watched the guys they were with, who feigned interest and would tune them out. I could see the girls with their heads in the palm of their hands. I could read body language that they were not been attended to. As well as the chairs of the guys turned away from them. And i wonder why guys do that. From the vantage point i had and the state of my current life i would think i would be much more attentive to these women. What of life if not shared with that someone special. But i also know that im liable to do the same thing that all those guys were doing. So the question stems why? Why are things so clear on the outside, as opposed to the inside? The view is just as clear if not clearer from the inside.

Conversations

So i had been chasing around this girl T, and for the most part nothing ever came of it. Then a few months ago she broke up with her boyfriend of 7 years and called me up. and we chatted a little and she came out to my birthday party. and we had a good time. and then not much from her after that. i pushed a little here and there and didnt get much of a response from her, so i blew it off. she just wanted a little hang out time and that was all. and so i didnt push or really talk to her. then she calls me up again in the last few days and starts talking again. and so i was kind of blase about it and we just kept talking for a few days and then i finally asked her out again and she was like that sounds good. which i found as quite a shock, i just expected the standard blow of from her. so in any case i talked to her for like an hour and half last night. which i find as quite promising. Ive found there are time i just dont have much to say to people and we cant talk on the phone and our relationships dont go well. and then other times i can just talk to someone for hours not really about anything in particular and those are the relationships that workout the best. which is to say about me and T is nothing, absolutely nothing, im just pondering...
heheh

Nice Guy

I played tennis yesterday with C2 and during a break in between sets we chatted. And i asked why she didnt stay last friday after tennis. We usually all go out for drinks after. And she said she usually tries to be home before 10. and i was like huh? and she explained that she was a good girl and she goes home all the time before 10, and reads books and does whatever. Which i was like wow, i mean she is 30 something... and she said she knows she is weird in that she doesnt socialize and she doesnt stay out after 10. And i said she wasnt weird, i mean whats really normal these days anyways. she talked about tennis round where people hit on her and she is really uncomfortable, and when people try to hug her after a match she steps back. in any case she has been lived a sheltered life. and i thought it kewl that she felt safe enough with me to be out on the court alone with me. she says she avoids situations where its just her and someone else. in any case i told her she should come out and hang out after tennis on friday, since we just have food drinks then go home. and she seemed strangely open to my invitation, even though she seems to have never wanted to go before. I think this owes to my general look and demeanor that i seem safe. and for the most part i think i am. but i could see that she would want me to pull her out her shell. because i would be nice about it. and i would. but i dont want to pull her out of her shell and have her fall for me and me not fall for her. I think that would be quite devastating for her, considering i dont think she has ever dated, and from what i can tell ever kissed a guy. and i can see she needs someone to be a gentle soul to her, and i wouldnt want to hurt her in any way. Its just my argument against fully shielding your child from everything. It leads for them to be fully hurt later. I can totally see some guy coming in and dominating her and breaking her heart as he lied and cheated and whatever on her. Okay im babbling. Just wondering if there is a way to handle this with care. She seems very precious and i wouldnt want to spoil her in anyway. id like to ease her into 'normalcy' whatever that is. And usually i would say who am i to say its better for her to be a new way then the way she is. except for the fact that she thought she was weird and looked like she wanted to go do things, she was just fearful of people. but for whatever reason not fearful of me. i suppose no one is ever fearful of me. although i profess im not the nice guy i used to be... still nice... just not as nice. okay enough babble from me.

Cartwheels

Do you ever get that desire to do cartwheels when you see a large expanse of space in front of you?

Flake

So C has been talking to me again. And i never know what to think of it. K was actually on her way over when C called me the other day. So i had to cut it short as to not create a awkward moment. K and i had dinner and then she went home. I called C after and we talked for a bit. She talked about her weekend and me mine. And then she had to get off and said she would call me back in a few mins. Which of course she never called back. But i had that phone on the floor waiting for the call. Then i spoke to her today and again a regular conversation then she got cut off again and said she would call back. and of course she didnt. She does this alot. Doesnt return calls etc, which i equate as a flake. Just dont say you are going to do something. In all the world i think i hate flakes most of all, seconded by ignorant people. So am i okay in being annoyed by this? Should i even be talking to her? I dont let go easy do I? How come some people are so good at it? Does it mean they are better? or does it mean they are more cold and callous? Maybe they are just less of the romantic than me.

Her screaming silence is deafening.
I cant take much more of this empty noise.
I long for a break where i see her face.
and i hear the words come clear.

Smash

Do you ever just get a snide remark from someone and then wish you could smash your laptop on their head and be done with it?